Funnies

A Computer was something on TV
From a Science Fiction show
A Window was something you hated to clean
And Ram was the father of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And Gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really Mega Bytes.

An Application was for employment
A Program was a TV show
A Cursor used profanity
A Keyboard was a piano.

A Memory was something you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the trash
Not something you did to a file
And if you Unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard Drive was a long trip on the road
A Mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a Backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A Web was a spider's home
And a Virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the Memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a Computer Crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.

Testing for Development-Archetypes
Nobody can deny that the goal of software development is to produce the
highest quality product possible. The only way to ensure that quality is
through extensive testing.

Therefore, the following testing programs will be implemented as additions
to the regularly scheduled regression testing:

Aggression Testing: Punching all developers with an open bug.

Confession Testing: All developers must admit what they either cannot do or
have blown off.

Digression Testing: Developers and analysts must change the subject and
ramble when the topic of bugs comes up.

Repression Testing: All developers must tell everyone who they secretly want
to kill.

Oppression Testing: All developers will be required to work 24 hours a day
until all bugs are fixed.

Depression Testing: All developers must explain which bugs make them sad,
and why.

Succession Testing: Developers must be able to name the chain of command in
the event that a PM dies.

Hessian Testing: QA will be redone by German mercenaries.

Joe Pescian Testing: All functions to be tested by a hot-headed Mafioso.

Please see your PM to get your testing schedule.